cute christmas snow angel frozen cute look for all girls very CUTE

L-R finger swatches: MAC Lazy Sunday, MUA Shade 22, Topshop Holograph, Topshop Hematite. Wrist with both Topshop Hematite and Holograph.

Now I have blonde hair and look truly and properly angelic (as all my fans keep telling me), I have started to really enjoy products which play off my new celestial vibe. Things which are cool-toned and cute, but also somewhat glittery and ethereal. And before some pedant comes along, no, I'm obviously not talking about the angels from all of those "religion" thingys, who seem to be mostly either blokes or fat babies, and come to signal the end of the world with a trumpet or something (I have an A* at Religious Studies A-Level, so don't try to tell me I'm an ignoramus). Put your death trumpets and fat baby costumes away, this is about a nice snow-queeny, flightly frostbitten but essentially angelic Christmas look.

I'll start with the real star of the show and newest inductee to the Annie Hall of Fame (makeup bag) - MAC Casual Colour in Lazy Sunday. In the pan this looks like a normal, cool toned pink cream blush, but it's so much* (*a bit) more than that. It comes off an almost white based baby pink, which is dewy and pale enough to be a dual highlight & blush. For a long time I was against pink blush as I felt it gives a real flustered mum on school run / Yarn Tethers look. (PS - if you understand the Yarn Tethers reference we must immediately become friends.) But this is pale, so you don't look at all flushed, just cutely pink. I also put this on my lips to pale them out a bit without looking concealer-y, just a very slight bit frostbitten and dead. Very slight. 

Next, a £1 product which is well worth it if you're not sure the whole dead/angel look is for you - a MUA eyeshadow in shade 22 Pearl. This is a frosted pink with subtle iridescent blue reflex. I like to use this not as an eyeshadow but as a highlight/blush: just a small dab along the cheekbone tops - not applied anywhere near as liberally as Lazy Sunday. Perfect for non-subtle winter highlighting, because it's not like you'll be in direct sunlight for more than fifteen seconds throughout the day anyway.

Now, Topshop eyeshadows have long been documented as some of my favourites for really unusual finishes and shades. These two (Holograph and Hematite) are absolutely perfect winter colours, because, when applied together, they make your eyelids look like an artistic depiction of a snowstorm. For a more "subtle" look (not that subtle because it still involves blue eyeshadow and glitter) I like to gentle press both into my inner-eye-corners with my finger, which deposits less stark colour and more just glittery shine. And if that doesn't make you feel festive, I don't know what will.

blonde expectations

I have had blonde hair for about two weeks now, which I believe officially makes me an expert. These two weeks have been a pretty steep learning curve, if you call "altering your hair routine" "learning", which I, of course, do. So here are some valuable life (*hair) lessons and observations. Also, I want an excuse to ramble on about my hair, because people in my actual life are getting fed up of me.
First - having blonde hair is ace. It makes whatever boring, pyjama-esque clothes you're wearing look about 80% better. It's like an accessory in itself! Also, it has reinvigorated my lipstick wearing habits (priorities). Instead of being trapped in a nude world, I've been really enjoying "statement lips" again. FUN! Having light and interesting-coloured hair makes getting dressed and doing makeup so much easier. The commitment of blonde upkeep thus balances out, and I am pleased.
Secondly, the battle against yellow is ongoing and difficult. I don't want white or grey hair, but what I do want is a pale and very very cool toned blonde, which is apparently a struggle to achieve. I was asked by my boyfriend the other day, "what would you do if you woke up and your whole hair was one brassy tone?" which I supposed shows how much my hair talk has infiltrated his brain. I've experimented with tons of toners and purple shampoos and dyes and I'm enjoying it as a mini-project. 
Also, you'll be amazed to hear, bleached hair is very dry and damaged! I bet you've never heard that before! My previous hair was somewhat tangly, but otherwise full of health and vitality. Now I have the equivalent of lots of straw attached to my head. In some ways, I actually prefer my new hair, not least because it actually has volume and holds a style and needs washing so much less. Nonetheless, I have to treat it with a lot more kindness than ever before. Some total saviours are my Aussie Three Minute Miracle, which I use every time I wash and sometimes mix with purple shampoo as a brightening mask, my OGX oil mists (keratin, argan and kukui are all good) and my Denman Small Grooming Brush. I was using the Aussie Leave in Conditioner and I must warn you - I think it is total trash. The second ingredient is alcohol (after water) and all it seemed to do was dry out and tangle my hair. Get the OGX oils instead.
So, overall. If you are thinking about bleaching you hair, I think you should just do it. Everyone told me I shouldn't do it myself and I did and I'm happy with it. Stick it to the man! Know that you'll be at least a bit yellow for a while, stock up on deep conditioner and the Provoke Touch of Silver. Don't brush it while it's wet. And enjoy a new world of rarely having to wash your hair, of actually enjoying your lipstick collection again and of dressing like a total bum and still looking kind of cool.

extremely cheap, extremely good hair products

Of all of the superficial things you can spend your money on, hair stuff must surely be the most boring (except maybe body care - I think I speak for all of us when I say "who cares?"). But having good hair is a (very, very far off) aspiration of mine. Inspired mostly by Sali Hughes' 50 products under £20 I think I have discovered some otherwise hidden hair gems (weird mental image).
Firstly, all my blonde bitches, just buy the Provoke Touch of Silver Brightening Shampoo. I'm pretty sure everybody knows about this, so I won't ramble on for too long. This turns warm blonde into cool blonde, and can even be used as a mild lilac dye (both on purpose or by accident). Cheap, smells good, easy to find, the end.
Ok, onto some more surprising bits. Mousse has a bit of a bad, crispy reputation, but the Boots Extra Firm Hold one seems to defy them. It's a mousse, sure, but it's a good one. Used in wet hair it stops your hair drying slippy and useless. This is probably also top for people who do fancy "up-dos" or such things I don't have the skill set for.
A bit of a strange one, the Boots Essentials Curl Creme is an exceptionally satisfying pale pink paste which looks like it belongs to your grandmother (and it very well might). I don't even have curly hair and I love this. It makes hair more malleable and kind of separated. It also adds hold without feeling like product in your hair, so whatever you do to it will look better for longer. For "science" purposes, I also used this in my boyfriend's long and curly hair, and it did seem to dry nicer, (although he was all, "why does my hair feel so ... firm??" - sigh, boys). Sounds (and looks, and is) weird, works really well. Try it if you, like me, want cool-girl hair with absolutely zero effort or money.

how to do makeup when you really weren't expecting to have to.

Far too often in my life, I end up somewhere surrounded by people I actually want to impress, during a situation where I wouldn't mind looking somewhat nice, without any of the tools to make that pipe dream come true. And in case you're thinking that means I live a very exciting and fast paced life, what I really mean is quite often I have to go out into the world and be sociable when I don't have any of my makeup with me - usually because it's on a different floor of my house. My house has three floors, so it is a genuine annoyance to forget something in my bedroom (#humblebrag, but not really because I live with my parents). Anyway, my point is, when you're as lazy as me, sometimes not moving wins out over applying the correct makeup. Luckily (and probably for this very reason), I carry a permanent pouch with me, and recently I've been ingeniously finagling a full makeup routine out of its meagre contents. Here is how.  

Of course, this is based off of stuff which I carried around knowing I liked, so it isn't really that impressive. But at least it works as a proof that I am correct in my pouch choices - take that, haters! And non-haters, these products can be edited and switched to your hearts content. My point is, you can do a reasonable job of makeup using things you have lying around, not for their intended use. Behold.

First: brush your hair, you look like Father Christmas. I like this Denman brush more the more I use it - it smooths out tangles without giving that unattractive "recently-electrocuted" vibe. Next, use your emergency concealer on any emergency zones. I've actually really been liking this Maybelline Super Stay one I got in America, but sod's law, you can't get it in England. The Collection Lasting Perfection one is pretty similar though, I reckon. I then highlight with the RMS Living Luminizer - a very expensive and very tiny shiny balm. I hesitate to reccommend this because it does seem like a stupid thing - except I use it pretty much every time I do makeup and it seems, to me, undupeable. The tiny pot has lasted me about two years and is more than half full, too. However, if you are a bit more sensible that me, a greasy, glowy face cream works really nicely as a natural highlighter - the Weleda Skin Food is ace for this, and it also feeds your hungry face which is nice. Spray over your finished "base" with some sort of facial mist - the ELF one is fine, but I am and always have been an advocate for normal rosewater, dispensed into a spray bottle.

Now to accessorise your face. The Sleek Candy Tint Balm in Marshmallow walks the fine line between natural lips and pink lips. After applying this, I dabbed a touch onto my cheeks, too, as a matching blush. I put some of the Skin Food on my eyelids to act as the most natural iridescent shadow ever, which making my eyelids look very moist and smooth - sounds disgusting, looks maybe ok? Finally, something I was perhaps overly proud of, I dipped the spoolie I always carry (pinched from Lush - don't tell) into some more Skin Food and combed it through my eyebrows. Voila - clear brown gel and a clever avoidance of the Count Olaf look. Easy makeup, made easy - and made even easier by the fact I could do it all while still sat on my arse watching MTV's Are You The One? I am, indeed, proud of myself.

blonde-ing for novices and idiots

Just what the internet needs, right? Another "going-blonde" tutorial? But I thought I'd add my own unique voice to the mix anyway, because I seriously did not know anything about this before I started. So from one idiot to another (I assume only idiots would care what I have to say about hair dyeing), here is my story so far. 

So just for context: here is where we started. As you can see, the epitome of "brown."  Pretty much all of my hair was "virgin" and very long and thick. Eagle-eyed starers will notice some subtle highlights about my face. These were not actually highlights, but mistaken bleaching via my benzoyl peroxide acne treatment (#glam). Even more #glam was that I sometimes ran over these with eyebrow dye to try to bring them back to the darker side. Never ever mistake me for somebody who takes great care of their appearance. 
The first stage of my blondeing process began in a similarly stupid and half-arsed way. I bought some hydrogen peroxide off the internet and sprayed it into my hair after washing but before blow drying. This lightened my hair to a dark and warm blonde, bordering on ginger. It also made my hair prone to enormous tangles and fuzzing up like a cheap wig. After a couple of months of maybe twice weekly bleach-spraying, I realised this wasn't really cutting the mustard. Still unsure of what I actually wanted my hair to look like, but sure that I'd come this far and might as well keep messing about with it, I decided to move on to next level bleaching.
Instead of buying intimidating bleach and developer and powder or whatever, I went for peroxide box dye. Schwarzkopf Live Color XXL Absolute Platinum to be exact (at the time of dyeing, these were on a 2 for £7.50 deal which was pretty much the only thing that swayed me towards them). Two boxes of this on my head later, I was left with this:

Basically bright yellow all over. This is it dry, but when I actually washed it off it looked a lot more multitonal - through the whole dark-brown-orange-yellow-blonde spectrum. The parts where the bleach has taken worst were where there had been some leftover eyebrow dye in my hair. Annoyingly, these were the most noticeable parts, being right next to my face. I missed taking a photo of that stage because I was too busy panicking. I realised that maybe everything anyone had told me about home-bleaching (mostly: "don't do that") might have been correct. But in for a penny, in for a pound, I marched back to Superdrug and got another two boxes of the dye. 
Because my hair was in good condition beforehand, I felt confident I could double bleach it without severe, hair-falling-out-in-clumps consequences. Note that this confidence was based on absolutely no facts or evidence. I do understand that a lot of people would prefer to go to a salon for this type of thing - I'm the first to admit that this wasn't a well-thought-through plan. But if the choice was to spend over £100, or to not go blonde, I probably wouldn't have bothered at all, and I did really want to give it a go. I have a pretty strong DIY ethos towards most things, and this was more an experiment than an important life decision. Also, instead of spending hours and hours with a stranger (my worst nightmare) I got to spend some quality time with my boyfriend (round 1) and my sister (round 2). Shout-out to Mark and Caitlin for hanging out with me in a room which smelt like a bin (because of the dye, duh) whilst I repeatedly asked "Have you got all the bits in the back??" Also massive shout-out to my main blonde bitch Lilly, who counselled me through the entire process by text, and was full of wise advice like "Yeah then scorch the fucker."

After bleach number two, I mixed a bunch of the cult favourite Provoke in with the free Schwarzkopf hair mask and put it all on my head for an hour or so, giving me a cute purple-foam-haired look (left). The results after washing out but pre-drying can be seen on the right. Not entirely yellowless, but certainly on the blonde side of yellow (and not the dreaded bright orange side).

Not bad considering how much of an imbecile I was about the whole thing, right? Excuse the open drawer full of sports bras in the background. Since the dyeing of last weekend, I have done one further purple shampoo. This turned the palest bits silvery-purple, but left the yellowest bits largely unaffected. The aim is to get hair that is all the same tone (preferably on the cool side) but different shades within that tone (as in, all the same amount of coolness, but some darker and some lighter so it isn't too flat). This is what I'm left with at the moment.

It's the blasted eyebrow-dyed fringe bits which are the only real fly in the ointment. I have purchased another cult classic, the Wella White Lady toner from Amazon (plus developer). If google image searches are anything to go by (and they always are), this should help with the warm bits and with unifying the tone overall. This hasn't arrived yet though, so in the purpose of full disclosure I feel I must tell you that I'm currently sat here with purple shampoo applied only to the yellow bits in my fringe with an old toothbrush. Things certainly haven't got any more professional around here.

pouch updates

If you're a long term fan of me, you'll probably remember my seminal work, my pouch - coincidentally, almost exactly a year ago. Well a lot has changed in a year, and that predominantly refers to said pouch's contents. Here are some new additions which are important enough to be with me wherever I go.

The main change in the last year has taken place atop my scalp. I have gone from brown-and-Jesus-like, through the tiny fringe phase and into a more difficult time of my life: growing out a fringe whilst going blonde. The various clips are necessary at all times to centre-part my tufty bits into place and try to forget about them.I also have a Denman brush (the D81S to be precise) because I cannot justify a Mason Pearson purchase. People on the internet have described this as "90% as good" and for 15% of the price, that seems to work out - maths. This is good for doing an overall brush over to smooth down any mad fuzz, and also works well at removing starter-dreadlocks without pulling out too many hairs. Hairs are now a prized commodity in these dry and damaged parts.

I have recently developed a penchant for cool-toned-yet-somewhat-natural lips. These are good winter alternatives to glosses - shiny and adding a hint of pinky-lilac, making you look a bit too cold in a cute way. They are also good when your lips are peeling off from sitting staring into a fan heater all day (October - yay!) because they make lips look soft and smooth. These two (the L'oreal Rouge Caresse in Tempting Lilac and the Maybelline Baby Lips in Sugar Cookie) have to added advantage of smelling like cake.

A further development over the past year seems to be that I have started looking more tired all the time. I don't like wearing undereye concealer because I think it always looks extremely obvious and unnatural - nonetheless, I do quite like looking bright eyed, and not just because of the band. The Rohto Cooling Eye Drops are great for making the whites of your eyes white again, and also give you a blast of cold which peps you up. I get them from eBay because I don't think they're available in the UK, and buying eyedrops off eBay seems in equal parts dangerous and thrilling to me (born to be wild, I know). Another gimmick I've been trying is the Garnier Roll On. Does it actually do anything? The jury is still out. Do I inexplicably enjoy rolling a metal ball around my eye socket? Guilty as charged. I believe this does something involving caffeine to wake up your eye skin. I have always said there is nothing more unattractive than asleep eye skin. Finally, I have taken to carrying around an eye cream with me, because I am a sociopath. I like the Kiehls Avocado one because it's extremely greasy, so even with makeup on I like to put this on my eyelids and tear ducts as a sort of extremely natural highlighter. However, it is a bit pricey so I would recommend the Weleda Skin Food for the same thing. As the proverb goes: when it's cold outside, apply more grease, and please God get that fringe out of your eyes.

shine your face so the sun doesn't have to

I'm a massive proponent of glowy, borderline shiny skin. I know I recently posted about the most unsubtle of shine's many forms (glitter), but if that's too silly for your sophisticated lives, there is another way. I may sound like a broken record (I'm never sure what I've actually put down in words and what I have just thought about writing down) but everyone can and should have shine on their face. Old, boring people have matte, flat, dry skin. Young, energetic people who are full of vitality and always rushing from adventure to adventure inevitably have a bit of shine about them. And the best part is, even though I am actually boring and lazy, my skin-shine tricks people into thinking otherwise!

I currently have undeniably "bad hair". But I'm not talking about that now, and thus neither should you.

Worlds worst #bblogger displays a trifecta of nail ugliness - chipped, bitten and glitter painted.

If you use a product that is borderline subtle, it helps with this trickery. Instead of looking like "highlighter on fleek" (*throws up*) it just looks like really healthy, moist (*throws up again*) reflective sheen. I have three such products because I am a lunatic. They are displayed in blocks on my wrist, from top to bottom: the L'oreal Lumi Magique Primer, Lush Feeling Younger, and the Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector in Pearl. They are all pretty similar (look like white creams until they're rubbed into glowiness), although the L'oreal is more primer-ish (read: silicone feeling), and the Lush is more shimmery and more gold. The Becca is the best (and has "skincare benefits" and SPF 25!) and also the most ridiculously priced - isn't that always the way?? 

If you're a shiny faced beginner, tapping on facial high points (inner-eyes and cupid's bow, cheekbones and brow bones - see my crescent moon of reflected light above) is a step in the right direction. But if, like me, you're in the exclusive category of the shiny faced expert, all of these are just about subtle enough to put pretty much all over your face - how exciting! Go forth and blind your enemies! And if anyone tells you you're looking too shiny, remember that that's a compliment and they just don't know it yet.