waterline brighteners for suspicious eyes

I am a sufferer of some of the most naturally red eyes I know. I think it a combination of wearing contact lenses and crying all the time (kidding, kind of). Unlike all the other "problems" with my appearance, however, a red eye is really easily "fixed" with makeup. You can literally draw over the red and make it a different colour.

Taking photos of myself makes me aware how weird my face is - I'm discovering I have a lazy eye and a really weird overbite. But my waterlines look cute, right??

 Even if you don't have red there, putting a light, pastelly colour inside your eyes makes them look about 65% bigger and 78% brighter, which is a good look. It tricks people that your eyes don't end where they actually end, but extend to the top of your eyelashes. Any pale colour will work and give slightly different effects.

 The Nyx Jumbo Eye Pencils are really good for this purpose. The two I have are slightly iridescent which brings even more light to your peepers. Cottage Cheese (a gross name, right?) is sparkly white and Lavender is sparkly lilac, which counteracts the warm, red tones by being a cool colour - and a "cool" colour, too. These last pretty well and come in all manner of shades. In a pinch, they also work well as a cream highlighter on the tear duct, brow bone, cupid's bow etc. Not bad for $5.
 I also have the famous Rimmel Scandaleyes Kohl Kajal in Nude. This is very well loved, but it has recently got somewhat of the shaft because I err more on the side of pale and pastel nowadays. You can see that by comparison, this shade of "nude" is actually pretty dark, so it doesn't give my eyes the lightness I want. It lasts well and is a good product otherwise, so I think this is probably a good one for those less deathly pale than myself.
 The one I'm proud to have discovered is the Korres Eyeliner Pencil in Green-White. I found it through a series of investigative Google searches (starting with "mint green eyeliner" and ending with "Nars barrow street dupe".) My extremely limited knowledge of makeup led me to believe that using the opposite colour works to counteract the colour - and the opposite of red is green. Therefore, a pastel green colour doesn't appear greeny, just pale and not-at-all-red! See for yourself, it is what I'm wearing in the pictures. Other bonuses include it;s long-lastingness and the face it doesn't contain any poisonous eye chemicals. 
 This "trick" is one of those mythical 30 second fixers which makes you look healthier, prettier AND more engaged with life. I wear it on lots of makeup days and "no makeup" days alike. Who doesn't want bigger, brighter eyes? That's a rhetorical question because the answer is no one.

just-been-kissing lips

In some ways a pinky-reddy lip goes against all of my beauty ideals, in that it is conventionally "pretty" and appealing. However, a focus on the "just-been-kissing" look results in a cooler way to wear pinky-red, Disney princess lips. A jbk smudge firstly implies that you have been kissing, which is fun and cool. But it also implies that you don't really care enough to fix your lipstick, and that you probably just want to go on kissing people. 

Adore Delano is such a jbk icon.

Slightly subtler in Rimmel Kate Moss 110.

First, you need to choose your weapon. The look (a pared down version of Adore Delano's) can be achieved with a balm, a lipstick or a gloss-stain, so it's versatile and requires absolutely no skill. I focus all the product in the center of my mouth, and then rub it outwards. You could call this "kissing" your fingertip, however that is too depressing to contemplate and I'm not calling it that. I think this might be what people call an "ombre" lip? The idea is to start strong in the middle and fade outwards to nothing. It's advised (by me) to go very very slightly over the edge of your lips to maximise the jbk vibes.

Top to bottom: Maybelline Pink Quartz, Rimmel Kate Moss 110, L'oreal Endless Red.

 The entry level jbk lip is any sort of pink/red tinted lipbalm, which makes your lips look like you've been kissing a lot and have swollenish, soreish lips that you've lipbalmed over. I have an inexplicable affection for the Maybelline Baby Lips. The "Pink Quartz" one gets extra points for smelling like sweets and being packed with glitter. 
 Your favourite red lipstick can easily become a jbk lip. The Rimmel Kate Moss 110 is matte and therefore pretty long-lasting, particularly when smudged and pressed in. It's a great red-pink-coral.
 The ultimate in jbk lips come in the form of the L'oreal Wet Shine Stain in "Endless Red". It's an extremely pigmented gel which looks shiny and plump, and stains the lips underneath for bloody ages - I put some on my arm and it lasted several days. It can be carefully applied to give a really cool, precise, glossy and long-lasting red lip, but applied with a finger it is smudgy, jbk perfection.

I just wanted to put this picture at the end because it's one of my favourites ever. Imagine if this was how you got your just-been-kissing look ... sigh.

a nude illusion

Yes, I'm wearing clothes, it's a NUDE ILLUSION ok

Feat. a rogue lock of hair.

 In honour of episode one of the new series of RuPaul's Drag Race: my favourite products to create a naked looking face. Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your genuinely naked face, and me telling someone else to bother to wear makeup is like a lazy pot calling a lazy kettle lazy. I can count the amount of days in the week I wear makeup on a couple of fingers. But for days when you want to look like you're wearing no makeup but just look a bit better, I have some recommendations. For me, and I know it's all subjective, "better" equates to glowier, browier, bigger-eyed and pinker-lipped.
  First is a new love who I am hot and heavy for, the Jouer Luminizing Moisture Tint in Pearl. Sometimes I feel like cheap things are just the same, but then I get something like this which just feels expensive. It gives minimal coverage, more of a blurring than a concealing effect, and has tiny tiny bits of shimmer which diffuses lights over your chops and makes your face glow like the moon. It's love! I know it's early days but I'm not afraid to say it, ours is the love that dares speak its name. To add extra shine I put the RMS Living Luminizer on my inner eye corner and browbone. This is a long term and committed relationship. In spite of generally being a makeup floozy, if I'm putting on makeup, I'll put on this. It's bloody expensive for such a tiny and seemingly useless little pot, but it's one of a kind. It gives a wet look shine with almost undetectable shimmer, and it lasts for ever on your face. I've used it every day for a year (?) and there is no end in sight. You feel like you don't need this until you have it, and then it's game over.
 Hairy eyebrows are still my jam, and add structure to a seemingly-naked face. I put through a really cheap brown mascara, I'm sure the cheapest brown mascara you can find will work fine for a makeshift tinted brow gel. If it's cheap, chances are it won't be particularly amazing in terms of volume or length, so if you play your cards right it should just add a touch of colour and hold. I focused the majority of the product in the front section of my eyebrows, because I think a bushy front section (stop it) looks kind of youthful and relaxed. I curled my eyelashes which makes my eyes look about 46% bigger and put a touch of mascara on my top lashes, more to colour them in than anything else.
 To add a subtle bit of sculpting to a face that errs on the side of enormous I used the Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in Exposed. It chisels the cheekbones without actually being a contour - mysterious but interesting. Finally I smudged some of the Nivea Lip Butter in Raspberry Rose on my mouth. I really do want to try to By Terry Baume de Rose, and the worst part is I know one day I'll lose my mind and actually buy it, but for now this is doing the trick. It's pretty moisturising, smells good and imparts a milky-pinky look.
 Now tuck your penis between your legs, whack on a lace front wig and werk!!!! (I'm talking about Drag Race again, duh.)