why doesn't everything come in spray bottles?

 Spray bottles are the goddamn business. Always, always keep them when you finish a product which is #blessed enough to come in one. They are my holy grail of beauty-liquid packaging, and they should be much more prevalent, for a multitude of reasons. Vive la Spray!
 The first product which should be sprayed and only sprayed is body oils. Why should I have to bend over and reach places when a spray could do it for me? Dumb. Luckily I have a multitude of old spray bottles because I'm a dirty dirty hoarder, so I decant my body oil of choice (at the moment avocado, because I have it and I want to use it up) and spray in all over my bod. Voila - glowy, moisturised skin without having to do any annoying rubbing.
 Obviously, obviously all hair products should come in spray form. Who can be arsed to even attempt to disperse product evenly using hands alone - it's impossible and it makes you feel like a fool for even trying. Also, it's a good litmus test for products: if it's too thick to get through a spray mechanism, it's going to weigh my hair down and I don't want to be involved. Oils, textursing things, leave-in-conditioner and serums alike MUST be MISTed.
 I'm out of the toner game, but on the occasion I do a liquid exfoliate with the Bravura London Purifying Calendula Toner. Why oh why doesn't it come in spray form? Spraying toners onto cotton pads puts a little amount across the whole pad surface instead of completely soaking one corner, which is a much more economical way to rub it evenly over your face. And if you're fearless and immune to eye pain, you can spray things directly onto your face, skipping the need for a cotton pad and therefore saving the planet. Good job, you.
 Finally, setting sprays, which do, obviously, come in spray form. But if, like me, you're looking for a dewy-finish setting spray, there is no better way to go than rosewater. It gives your face an immediate, verging-on-shiny glow. It's also pretty great for your skin and smells like roses (duh). I buy mine from Amazon and decant into an old sprayer. Its the best, cheapest, best-for-you facial spray I've ever used, and trust me, I've used some overpriced ones.
 So, big companies who definitely read my blog: why doesn't everything which can be sprayed come in a spray bottle? Good for being lazy, saving money, saving product, saving the planet and saving your hair from being too flat - I rest my case. 

i've been whitening my english teeth with american hydrogen peroxide

I'm not 100% on where the stereotype comes from, but I just American-Googled "english bad teeth" and got about 30,900,000 results  in 0.40 seconds. I've actually got very good teeth, and have never had a filling or any of that painful nonsense. But superficially (aka in the only way that matters) my teeth weren't exactly up to the exacting standards of America.

I have always been of the mindset that at-home whitening doesn't work, and therefore have never tried it. However, after seeing an article on Into the Gloss, I decided it was worth my time and money - $5 all inclusive. I know what you're thinking, so stop. This is allowed by dentists and isn't properly dangerous - you just need to buy the 3% hydrogen peroxide, which will say something like "suitable for gargling" on it. And for God's sake, don't swallow.
What I do is every evening before brushing, take a small mouthful and swill it about. It has a very specific taste, like chewing on the cuffs of your old school jumper. It will also begin to foam up, which is it dissolving all your problems (aka stains). Then I spit it (don't swallow) and do a regular brush. Because I don't do things by halves, I also bought a fluoride+peroxide toothpaste, which seems to work very well, and tastes like regular mint. 

 And look at these goddamn results! Look at the glare of the sun reflecting off the snow outside, which in turn is reflecting off my tegs. I didn't take before adn after photos because I honestly didn't predict a big difference, but trust me, this is the whitest my teeth have been in a long time. I'm still drinking all my favourite brown drinks (tea, coffee and diet coke) on the reg, too. It really, really, really makes a difference, doesn't cost a bunch of money, and aside from the strange taste, seems to be without side affect. If you want to follow the "American" tooth trend, give this a go.