why doesn't everything come in spray bottles?

 Spray bottles are the goddamn business. Always, always keep them when you finish a product which is #blessed enough to come in one. They are my holy grail of beauty-liquid packaging, and they should be much more prevalent, for a multitude of reasons. Vive la Spray!
 The first product which should be sprayed and only sprayed is body oils. Why should I have to bend over and reach places when a spray could do it for me? Dumb. Luckily I have a multitude of old spray bottles because I'm a dirty dirty hoarder, so I decant my body oil of choice (at the moment avocado, because I have it and I want to use it up) and spray in all over my bod. Voila - glowy, moisturised skin without having to do any annoying rubbing.
 Obviously, obviously all hair products should come in spray form. Who can be arsed to even attempt to disperse product evenly using hands alone - it's impossible and it makes you feel like a fool for even trying. Also, it's a good litmus test for products: if it's too thick to get through a spray mechanism, it's going to weigh my hair down and I don't want to be involved. Oils, textursing things, leave-in-conditioner and serums alike MUST be MISTed.
 I'm out of the toner game, but on the occasion I do a liquid exfoliate with the Bravura London Purifying Calendula Toner. Why oh why doesn't it come in spray form? Spraying toners onto cotton pads puts a little amount across the whole pad surface instead of completely soaking one corner, which is a much more economical way to rub it evenly over your face. And if you're fearless and immune to eye pain, you can spray things directly onto your face, skipping the need for a cotton pad and therefore saving the planet. Good job, you.
 Finally, setting sprays, which do, obviously, come in spray form. But if, like me, you're looking for a dewy-finish setting spray, there is no better way to go than rosewater. It gives your face an immediate, verging-on-shiny glow. It's also pretty great for your skin and smells like roses (duh). I buy mine from Amazon and decant into an old sprayer. Its the best, cheapest, best-for-you facial spray I've ever used, and trust me, I've used some overpriced ones.
 So, big companies who definitely read my blog: why doesn't everything which can be sprayed come in a spray bottle? Good for being lazy, saving money, saving product, saving the planet and saving your hair from being too flat - I rest my case. 

turns out boring, old fashioned skincare advice works.

There are some things which are and will always be eternally true: vanilla things smell good, Mathew Gray Gubler is a hot guy, and that some boring but easy things can really help out your skin. These tips aren't revolutionary, exciting or glamorous, and certainly aren't as fun as buying nice smelling pretty things in containers. They are boring old habits, and they work.

1) Drinking water. Your body needs water for all of the "important" organs (brain, liver, kidneys ... yawn), and if there isn't enough in your body, it will steal it from your skin. Skin without water isn't so cute: dull, liney, un-plumped. So by constantly putting lots of water into your body, you can prevent this from happening really really easily. Also, water is free (unless you're buying it which is dumb) and good for your whole bod. 
2) Exercise. I hate exercising as much as the next man but getting really sweaty about twice a week seems to be helping out my skin. I imagine that all the sweat coming out of your pores stops them from getting clogged (sort of like a facial laxative, and I am sorry for that image). Also, the attractive big red face that follows exercising means there is lots of blood circulating around your chops, which is almost certainly a Good Thing. Also it might help you live longer, etc, whatever.
3) Facial Massage. At night when I moisturise, I always try to sculpt my face into shape using the Lisa Eldridge vid as my guide. This does things I don't fully understand such as improving circulation and draining lymphs (?) but makes your face glowy and will hopefully help the descent into old age be a little easier.

Boring but beneficial, and also free and good for more than just your face. Turns out common knowledge becomes common for a reason - it is usually pretty solid advice.

H.G. U.S. drugstore skincare

Are there any words which make me happier than "drugstore" and "skincare"? (Apart from "free" and "gift", I don't think so.) My stay in the US is nearly up, and I wanted to write what will basically be an ode to some of the things I have found here which will be what I will use on my face for a very long time. I'm trying to keep my skincare streamlined and simple because in my heart of hearts I do think that's better, but for me it is an unexpectedly hard task. Obviously there are some extras, but the above photo is pretty much all I'm using. Simplicity is true happiness or something, although I still think true happiness is owning every colour of lipstick you can imagine. 
I watched a YouTube video with Paula Begoun ("Paula" from "Paula' Choice") and she compared the CeraVe Hydrating cleanser to one from Creme de la Mer. I've fallen pretty hard for it. It's the most simple but pleasant cleanser I've used, it goes on like white slime, doesn't smell, doesn't foam, doesn't really do anything. I just rub in onto a dry face and then splash off with warmish water. After using your skin will feel magically softer but not like it's coated with any grease. It seems to hydrate at a deeper level or something, it's seriously impressive. 
The combination of something I'll discuss later and the most serious winter I've ever experienced (the US doesn't fuck around) left me with the driest skin I've had in my life. After being so impressed with the cleanser I got the corresponding moisturser, which again is beautifully plain. It is scentless, which I like because fragrance is superfluous and irritating. I use a whole big pump morning and evening, it seems to properly hydrate without leaving a film and it sits really well under makeup. I think I might actually be over the fancy skincare compulsion which haunted my bank account for years. I don't want products which have big claims and fancy tubs and are a really "luxurious" experience to use. I want things that are plain, simple and do what they say they will in the most undamaging and unproblematic way.
Onto the dry-making culprit whom I would forgive anything, the Clean & Clear Persa Gel. This is a benzoyl peroxide gel-cream. It's a touch drying and irritating (although my skin is getting used to it), but it is scientifically stopping bacteria from breeding inside my skin. It works, and I can't really imagine life without it.
I love SPF, and that might be one of the most boring things I've ever said. Every beautiful old lady ever says use SPF every day, and I trust them. This Clear Face one from Neutrogena is amazing (as amazing as SPF can be). It's factor 55, doesn't irritate my cantankerous skin and goes well under makeup. No complaints whatsoever.
Now when (God, WHEN???) will these amazingly simple, cheap and effective products make the journey to the UK? *drops mic* I feel an emotional attachment to them that is more than just a lustful excitement of a new product. I feel like we're really building a long-term relationship based on trust and mutual respect. The more I learn about these prods the more I like them. They're not the most attractively packaged, but they get me on a deeper level or some other dumb rom-com metaphor.

g bless the giorgio armani luminous silk foundation

I have finished a bottle of the Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk foundation, and I have some thoughts.

2 pics, because I liked both

I'm just going to quickly address the issue that many of you will say it is too expensive. Well, I don't think it is, in the grand scheme (for example, a pair of shoes at the price would be considered pretty cheap, and they will not improve your quality of life as much). I think it was Cat Marnell who said "It was my dad tried to teach me the value of money, and I hate my dad" - though I actually really love my dad, ok?? Furthermore, if there is a more expensive thing you can think of, you can always justify buying something expensive - "ok, I'm behaving poorly, but at least I didn't buy that £70 By Terry foundation!!" - and I never will (but don't quote me on that). I have fond memories of the day I bought this; Lilly and I had a no good, very bad day in London where we just bought everything we wanted to cheer ourselves up about being nannies. Never a day has gone by where I have regretted buying this, and I think it is perfect. It basically makes you look like you're not wearing foundation, except for the fact your skin is perfect. It makes you look (skinwise) like a cross between a model backstage with buisness cards clipped to her hair and a baby. Don't tell me you've never been given skin envy by a baby.

Ugh, behave yourself fringe

Here I am, wearing GALS and no other skin makeup and I didn't edit the photos or anything like that (as if I know how). It has worked out for me during my worst chacne outbreaks and the dryest of Massachusetts winter skin: it goes over anything and makes it look about 2453% better. It looks damn good from the moment you put it on until the moment you take it off, and I haven't had any adverse skin effects from wearing it (it is a siliconey formula, but it doesn't smell of anything, praise jeezy). I was matched to shade 4.5, but that was nearly two years ago (wtf) and I have been a diligent sunscreener since then, so it errs on the side of too-dark-but-definitely-manageable. If you are a lazy-makeupper like me (except when it comes to shopping for it... sigh), this plus a buffing type brush is all you need for good skin by day or by night. I will probably wear this on my wedding day or if I had actually gone to graduation. 

Emerging from the entrance to hell / in a poorly lit bathroom

Another photo on another day of GALS and only GALS on my face. This well demonstrates that this foundation looks just as good after a day of #business. I have some benzoyl-peroxide related cheek and chin peeliness and it looks FINE. I honestly think if you use this and have luminous and silky looking skin, you can get everything else for cheap and maintain the illusion of being expensive. It gives really great "cool girl skin", that paradoxical look of perfected-ness without any hint of effort-to-perfect; looking like you haven't tried at all but just happen to be both luminous and silky. Now I have finished it, I am yet to repurchase because I am a floozy. In fact, I have broken the ultimate girl code and cheated on GALS with his own brother, Giorgio Armani Lasting Silk, who is waiting for me when I go back to England (something to ease the pain of leaving USA). Another exciting foundation-related thing (if you get excited about foundations in the way I do) is that I managed to find the elusive and extinct Jemma Kidd Light As Air foundation on American eBay!! I was so excited that I actually texted Lilly to tell her, and she didn't care at all. But if those two fail to live up to the hype, I am happy to know I can always go back to Old Faithful, my BFprobablyF, the Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk.