pouch updates

If you're a long term fan of me, you'll probably remember my seminal work, my pouch - coincidentally, almost exactly a year ago. Well a lot has changed in a year, and that predominantly refers to said pouch's contents. Here are some new additions which are important enough to be with me wherever I go.

The main change in the last year has taken place atop my scalp. I have gone from brown-and-Jesus-like, through the tiny fringe phase and into a more difficult time of my life: growing out a fringe whilst going blonde. The various clips are necessary at all times to centre-part my tufty bits into place and try to forget about them.I also have a Denman brush (the D81S to be precise) because I cannot justify a Mason Pearson purchase. People on the internet have described this as "90% as good" and for 15% of the price, that seems to work out - maths. This is good for doing an overall brush over to smooth down any mad fuzz, and also works well at removing starter-dreadlocks without pulling out too many hairs. Hairs are now a prized commodity in these dry and damaged parts.

I have recently developed a penchant for cool-toned-yet-somewhat-natural lips. These are good winter alternatives to glosses - shiny and adding a hint of pinky-lilac, making you look a bit too cold in a cute way. They are also good when your lips are peeling off from sitting staring into a fan heater all day (October - yay!) because they make lips look soft and smooth. These two (the L'oreal Rouge Caresse in Tempting Lilac and the Maybelline Baby Lips in Sugar Cookie) have to added advantage of smelling like cake.

A further development over the past year seems to be that I have started looking more tired all the time. I don't like wearing undereye concealer because I think it always looks extremely obvious and unnatural - nonetheless, I do quite like looking bright eyed, and not just because of the band. The Rohto Cooling Eye Drops are great for making the whites of your eyes white again, and also give you a blast of cold which peps you up. I get them from eBay because I don't think they're available in the UK, and buying eyedrops off eBay seems in equal parts dangerous and thrilling to me (born to be wild, I know). Another gimmick I've been trying is the Garnier Roll On. Does it actually do anything? The jury is still out. Do I inexplicably enjoy rolling a metal ball around my eye socket? Guilty as charged. I believe this does something involving caffeine to wake up your eye skin. I have always said there is nothing more unattractive than asleep eye skin. Finally, I have taken to carrying around an eye cream with me, because I am a sociopath. I like the Kiehls Avocado one because it's extremely greasy, so even with makeup on I like to put this on my eyelids and tear ducts as a sort of extremely natural highlighter. However, it is a bit pricey so I would recommend the Weleda Skin Food for the same thing. As the proverb goes: when it's cold outside, apply more grease, and please God get that fringe out of your eyes.

shine your face so the sun doesn't have to

I'm a massive proponent of glowy, borderline shiny skin. I know I recently posted about the most unsubtle of shine's many forms (glitter), but if that's too silly for your sophisticated lives, there is another way. I may sound like a broken record (I'm never sure what I've actually put down in words and what I have just thought about writing down) but everyone can and should have shine on their face. Old, boring people have matte, flat, dry skin. Young, energetic people who are full of vitality and always rushing from adventure to adventure inevitably have a bit of shine about them. And the best part is, even though I am actually boring and lazy, my skin-shine tricks people into thinking otherwise!

I currently have undeniably "bad hair". But I'm not talking about that now, and thus neither should you.

Worlds worst #bblogger displays a trifecta of nail ugliness - chipped, bitten and glitter painted.

If you use a product that is borderline subtle, it helps with this trickery. Instead of looking like "highlighter on fleek" (*throws up*) it just looks like really healthy, moist (*throws up again*) reflective sheen. I have three such products because I am a lunatic. They are displayed in blocks on my wrist, from top to bottom: the L'oreal Lumi Magique Primer, Lush Feeling Younger, and the Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector in Pearl. They are all pretty similar (look like white creams until they're rubbed into glowiness), although the L'oreal is more primer-ish (read: silicone feeling), and the Lush is more shimmery and more gold. The Becca is the best (and has "skincare benefits" and SPF 25!) and also the most ridiculously priced - isn't that always the way?? 

If you're a shiny faced beginner, tapping on facial high points (inner-eyes and cupid's bow, cheekbones and brow bones - see my crescent moon of reflected light above) is a step in the right direction. But if, like me, you're in the exclusive category of the shiny faced expert, all of these are just about subtle enough to put pretty much all over your face - how exciting! Go forth and blind your enemies! And if anyone tells you you're looking too shiny, remember that that's a compliment and they just don't know it yet.

on glitter

Overall, I do think the best makeup is "no makeup makeup". But sometimes "lots of makeup makeup" is the only option. Sometimes I can no longer keep up the pretense of being sophisticated (HA). Sometimes overstated triumphs over understated. And all of those times are fine times to douse oneself in iridescent particles and let your head become a mobile disco ball. The most important thing about wearing makeup is to have fun, and in my eyes there is nothing more fun than glitter.
What lots of plebs don't know is that glitter can be done somewhat subtly (as well as the also charming assault-on-the-eyeballs look). Glitter can be for life, not just for Christmas.

Maybelline Baby Lips Crystal in Pink Quartz, Wet n Wild Mega Brilliant Lip Gloss in Crushed Grapes, Topshop Glitter in Periwinkle, Barry M Fine Glitter Dazzle Dust in 7, Ebay glitters, Bourjois Intense Eyeshadow in 03, Topshop Chameleons in Shuffle the Cards and Wax & Wane.

Here are the prods that work best, ranging from fine shimmery sparkle to sizeable holographic chunks. On the eyes, the best "wearable" glitter I've found (although all glitter is "wearable", you just have to wear it) is the Bourjois eyeshadow. It's a great peachy nude colour which is similar to the colour of my eyelids, except packed with tiny silver glitters. When applied liberally it actually looks like you've got glossy, wet eyelids like a fresh-faced cherub. One step up on the sparkly scale are these ace Topshop eyeshadows (called "chameleons" for no discernible reason). When applied wet they look almost foiled, but can also be used lightly as a more unusual highlight on the inner corners etc. The reason these are so good is because they are glitters running through quite normal, nudey eyeshadow colours. Shuffle the Cards is a peach-nude with lots of gold and pink sparkle, while Wax & Wane is a darker taupe with purple and blues. There was a tan and lime green one which I didn't buy at the time and now can't find, which is probably a regret I shall take to my grave. These are surprisingly easy to wear, particularly over a brownish eyeshadow base to do a boring old brown smokey eye but better.

Now onto glitters for experts. The Barry M Glitter Dazzle Dusts should come in about 50 more colours, but still, this pink and silver one is a good time. I like it on the eyelids for a pink-eye-but-glittery look. I also, in a moment of weakness bought 15 pots of multi-coloured glitters on ebay. I now have every colour I could possibly need, but my favourites are the white and the silver holographic. Applied with a wet brush on eyelids and cheekbones they can make you look like an ethereal cult leader. And the Topshop loose glitter in Periwinkle is perhaps the most ridiculous of all the glitters. The iridescent pieces in every shade of white are huge and certainly eye-catching, but perhaps not one for your everyday makeup bag.

 Of course, you can always just smear something glittery on your lips and call it a day. I like these Maybelline and Wet n Wild options because they are garish, articifically scented and, most importantly, cheap. As the photo captures (or more accurately, doesn't), these are actually surprisingly subtle, and good in a fix to smear anywhere on your face where you want more shine (eyelids, cupids bow, cheekbones, you get it).

The one and only downside to glitter is the aftermath. Expect yourself to find bits in inconceivable places for the rest of your life. Instead of being annoyed by it, embrace it. There's something charming and ethereal about leaving a spangly trail behind wherever you go, no?