a nude illusion

Yes, I'm wearing clothes, it's a NUDE ILLUSION ok

Feat. a rogue lock of hair.

 In honour of episode one of the new series of RuPaul's Drag Race: my favourite products to create a naked looking face. Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your genuinely naked face, and me telling someone else to bother to wear makeup is like a lazy pot calling a lazy kettle lazy. I can count the amount of days in the week I wear makeup on a couple of fingers. But for days when you want to look like you're wearing no makeup but just look a bit better, I have some recommendations. For me, and I know it's all subjective, "better" equates to glowier, browier, bigger-eyed and pinker-lipped.
  First is a new love who I am hot and heavy for, the Jouer Luminizing Moisture Tint in Pearl. Sometimes I feel like cheap things are just the same, but then I get something like this which just feels expensive. It gives minimal coverage, more of a blurring than a concealing effect, and has tiny tiny bits of shimmer which diffuses lights over your chops and makes your face glow like the moon. It's love! I know it's early days but I'm not afraid to say it, ours is the love that dares speak its name. To add extra shine I put the RMS Living Luminizer on my inner eye corner and browbone. This is a long term and committed relationship. In spite of generally being a makeup floozy, if I'm putting on makeup, I'll put on this. It's bloody expensive for such a tiny and seemingly useless little pot, but it's one of a kind. It gives a wet look shine with almost undetectable shimmer, and it lasts for ever on your face. I've used it every day for a year (?) and there is no end in sight. You feel like you don't need this until you have it, and then it's game over.
 Hairy eyebrows are still my jam, and add structure to a seemingly-naked face. I put through a really cheap brown mascara, I'm sure the cheapest brown mascara you can find will work fine for a makeshift tinted brow gel. If it's cheap, chances are it won't be particularly amazing in terms of volume or length, so if you play your cards right it should just add a touch of colour and hold. I focused the majority of the product in the front section of my eyebrows, because I think a bushy front section (stop it) looks kind of youthful and relaxed. I curled my eyelashes which makes my eyes look about 46% bigger and put a touch of mascara on my top lashes, more to colour them in than anything else.
 To add a subtle bit of sculpting to a face that errs on the side of enormous I used the Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in Exposed. It chisels the cheekbones without actually being a contour - mysterious but interesting. Finally I smudged some of the Nivea Lip Butter in Raspberry Rose on my mouth. I really do want to try to By Terry Baume de Rose, and the worst part is I know one day I'll lose my mind and actually buy it, but for now this is doing the trick. It's pretty moisturising, smells good and imparts a milky-pinky look.
 Now tuck your penis between your legs, whack on a lace front wig and werk!!!! (I'm talking about Drag Race again, duh.)

that "thin person" head shape

I am not interested in bronzer. I do not desire the golden goddess look, and the phrase "liven up the face" has never appealed to me - in fact, I prefer a washed out slightly sickly look. Nonetheless, it can't be denied that bronzer is good for a flattering reshaping of the face, receding hamster cheeks and refining ten chins. When I want to fake the face shape genetics didn't bless me with, instead of using something in the "orange-brown" spectrum, I always go for something ashy and grey. In my brain, taupey-grey is the colour of shadows. Therefore, you can paint shadows onto your face to trick everyone into thinking that's just a face.

I know I'm not the first person to come up with this hypothesis, and one day I probably will buy that Kevyn Aucoin Sculpting Powder for £35 because I can be foolish with money (... and, indeed, everything). But I had a clever thought, which was to search amazon for "matte taupe eyeshadow". (All pressed powders are basically the same thing, right? Nothing weird about using eyeshadows on your face.) What I ended up purchasing was the £2.49 W7 Shadow Perfection in Burnt Sienna, and I am really into it. In the above photo I am wearing it smudged underneath my cheeks and jaw - check out the fake bones I have created! (PS, do not check out the pile of rubbish on my bed and the open door to the bathroom - one day I will get better at taking selfies, promise.)

Here is the aforementioned "contour powder" as we will now refer to it, and the brush I use to put it on - the e.l.f. complexion brush (but I'm pretty sure any tapered blush type brush would work fine). I've also been experimenting with a lighter contour, using the powder from the e.l.f. brow kit in ash and really piling it on using the Real Techniques contour brush.

Top: W7 Burnt Sienna, Bottom: e.l.f. Brow Kit in Ash

As you can see, both of these have no warmth to them, creating a fake sculpted face without adding any colour or "life". I basically can't be arsed to wear makeup apart from lipstick, but I do wear this dark-ish, grey-ish contour almost every day. It makes you feel like you know how to do makeup, brings out a hint of your inner drag queen, and most importantly, gives you that "thin person" head shape.