So guys, have you heard of this new thing called contouring? Don't worry, you fools, I am here to explain it to your tiny and ill informed brains. No; I know I am about two years too late for this, but I recently made my first semi-successful attempt at a full facial contour (ya know I've been all about that thin person head for a while now) and it has made me have some deep and meaningful thoughts.
So firstly, I love it. I was a fool to think otherwise. I look so hot and mean. Loads of makeup makes you look better, if in a maybe-a-bit-boring way. Look at my giant eyes and mouth! Look at my tiny lil button nose! Look at my hollowed cheekbones hiding a diet of mostly bagels and beer! If you want to know how someone who doesn't know anything did this, I have included the two products I used - the original Naked Basics palette and the Kevin Aucoin Sculpting Powder. As someone who you'll be lucky to catch wearing more than three makeups at a time, I'm not buying a contour palette (yet...). And the shades "Faint" (darkish brown), "Naked Two" (mid toned grey-brown) and "Venus" (satiny white hightlight) in combo with my usual "sculpting routine" (rubbing K.O. around the cheek area, sometimes) did a good enough job for me. The general rule is put brown in the areas you want to go away, and white in the areas which you wish existed but don't. If you want to learn how to contour, I would recommend don't try learning it from me, because I don't know anything. I also used a colour from the Lorac Pro Palette (for pros like me lol) called "Mauve" as a lipliner - a weird idea but the eyeshadow actually looked a lot more of a natural overdraw than a liner, IMO. But I couldn't photograph that because I'm in NYC (NBD) and it isn't. Ok.
But: here are my other thoughts - ready? Firstly, this took a bloody age. It's lucky I had a lot of life admin I wanted to avoid because otherwise there is no way I would have to patience for this. And some people do it every day! More power to them. Secondly, I think if I got too used to looking at myself like this I would get sad about how I looked without it - just normal sized eyes and such. Borin. It's pretty cool that you can really use makeup to make yourself look like a completely different person, but with great power comes great responsibility. All faces are good faces. Some are just hotter and meaner than others.